SHAMOON BABA
ENGLISH 101.0800
OCTOBER 1, 2010
The media has always played a major role in what the public believes or copy after. Whatever a product may be, it has less of a value or cannot boast of it intended purposes until a physical proof is displayed. Through time, the television and magazines have conveyed their influence through the advertisement of what is considered in vogue.
In the case, I am working with the GQ men’s magazine which is popularly purchased and subscribed by what can be termed as the “ideal urban men” and “aspiring ideal men”. The new look that they’re trying to give a man is a combination of a rock and a leaner since logically thinking about it, having the best of both sides can make the best there is. The character is here is donning professional attire at a sort of meeting in what seems to look like a Victorian building. The metropolitan outlook being displayed is showing in the cut of the suit which is a custom tailored and also has an awesome urban touch which in the total appeals to a masculinity and at the same time telling the tale of the “new man” which is a combination of the new and the old in wearing of professional outfits. It is obvious that men in the city are those ones that bring out what tomorrow’s fashion trend should be for that of those in the country to follow and in this instance, the yellow woolen vest is worn is commanding that attention. He then stands with his hands pocketed into his dress pants which also portrays confidence as a motion done mostly when one has a feeling of fulfillment or superiority complex they turn to have a boastful appearance. All the same it’s the mostly educated men who really have a the use for professional attires which in this case the character is having the professional dress code on which can be link to only men of white collar profession but in these modern times, men of other illicit professions too can purchase such luxury. Classic, vintage and urban is the new ultimate ideal looks.
The look on his face is soft and introspective. Kind of in a way that you can tell there is a second personality to him and that his professional yet luxurious look is not supposed to send the wrong message. This here is more of the rock side of an ideal man that lays embedded in the calmness of a clean shave and a preppy dress code. For a second, regardless of the receptive face, there is a bit of “Marlboro man” look that tops it off. Next up from the main page is the next character that is also in a preppy look with his eyes cut off which also signifying a bit secrecy and as such modulating the eminence of men of today. As such -not conventionally inclined-men are expected to project an upright, strict, well-constructive and disciplined composure.
In recent times men have really come to accept the many human phases that they possess and with that evolved the combination of just about all the various separated elements from the conventional, traditional and educational views. With each compensating the other, these elements are the weave pattern of today’s groomed men. A new era of redefined conventional retro. No wonder the ad is one that is original to Ralph Lauren Polo. For all the prestige and quality;
The second body paragraph is more effective than the first body paragraph. But you need to include a topic sentence which reflects what this body paragraph is about. It seems to be about the faces of the models, both their expressions and grooming style. Once again, since you have NO THESIS in your paper, it is unclear what TYPE of masculinity is portrayed by these models’ faces? Finally, the last paragraph appears to be the conclusion but it is incomplete and a part of the last sentence is cut off? I don’t understand what you mean by “In recent times men have really come to accept the many human phases that they possess and with that evolved the combination of just about all the various separated elements from the conventional, traditional and educational views”? This entire paragraph is vague. You need to review what information the introduction, body and conclusion paragraphs should contain, and you should review this in The Little Penguin Handbook, section 5 Compose Paragraphs on pages 15 and 16. Last but not least, you need to give Bordo credit as you use her ideas terms such as ‘rock’ and ‘leaner.’
ReplyDeleteWhile your introduction is relevant to the topic is has none of the required components; there is NO THESIS, and NO mention of the AD you’ll be analyzing in your paper? Also I’m not sure what you mean by the phrase “or copy after”? Another issue is the following phrase “cannot boast of it intended purposes” as there is something missing between it and intended. Last but not least, you do not need the definite article ‘the’ in front of ‘television’ in the third sentence.
ReplyDeleteThe first paragraph brings up NUMEROUS interesting ideas, but as we discussed in class, each body paragraph needs to focus on ONE idea. According to your outline, the first supporting point should be the clothing. But instead, in this paragraph, you attempt to discuss it all: the magazine, its readership/audience, the clothes, the men and the setting. This is very confusing.
ReplyDeleteAlso, you need to reread your work as your sentences are very long, and often incorrectly punctuated which makes them run-ons. For example, you write “The metropolitan outlook being displayed is showing in the cut of the suit which is a custom tailored and also has an awesome urban touch which in the total appeals to a masculinity and at the same time telling the tale of the “new man” which is a combination of the new and the old in wearing of professional outfits.” Please read this to yourself out loud. Remember that you cannot stop as you read this sentence since there is no punctuation to signal that you can breath. Don’t you think this sentence is awkward and you should ad some punctuation? What do you mean by “which in the total appeals to a masculinity”? in the total what? a masculinity?
ReplyDelete